The Greatest Story Ever Told

"Heads it is then Ricky."

"I think we'll have a bowl" decides Ponting, after some reflection "It's a flat pitch and a beautifully sunny day, so we'll need to do well to bowl England out twice. If we field first, we can get started on that early."

"Er...right. OK. Andrew, your thoughts?" asks Sky TV's Paul Allott.

"Well, we'll need to make sure we don't collapse like a house of cards this morning, but if we can show some spine we should be well placed for the rest of the match. As it's a flat pitch, we've gone for the extra bowler and we've brought back Andrew Flintoff and Monty Panesar for Ravi Bopara and Graeme Onions. I'm not telling you who's batting at three because you'll think I'm being silly."

"Perhaps that's Monty then. Have you got any message for the fans that you so let down so feebly in Leeds?"

"As it happens, I do. Firstly, we sincerely apologise. It will not happen again. Secondly, we don't want you to boo Ricky Ponting when he comes out to bat. There's little point in us beating the Australians if our fans are going to behave like them."

Unfortunately, though, the early signs are that England's batting has not improved since Headingley: Alastair Cook tries to drive the third ball of Ben Hilfenhaus' third over, but only succeeds in spooning the point to mid-off. The mystery of the England number three is then resolved, as Stuart Broad walks out of the England dressing room. Hilfenhaus pitches the ball up, trying to tempt Broad into playing the same shot as that which accounted for Cook. But Broad does not move his feet, and just misses the ball together. Next ball, same delivery, different result. Broad strides forward, strikes through the heart of the ball, and a second or so later it has skimmed past mid-off and hit the advertising hoardings for an emphatic boundary.

Batting at the other end, Strauss pushes a quick single to put Broad back on strike. Mitchell Johnson tries a bouncer outside off-stump; Broad's hook shot is out of control, but such is the power of his shot that the ball flies over the slip cordon for six. And as Broad plays shot after shot, England's tactic is becoming clear: Broad has been sent in as the first pinch-hitter in Test Match history. In a splendid innings that sets the Oval alight, he hits 86 before skying Simon Katich, twenty minutes before the luncheon interval. By the time that the players sit down for lunch, England have made a pulsating start and are at 141-2.

The afternoon's cricket is remarkable for the heat; the temperature at the Oval hits 32 degrees centigrade. Certainly by the evening session, the Australian pacemen are wearying, as the England batsmen strike boundary after boundary. A close of play, it's 412 for 5 (Strauss 158, Broad 86, Bell 86) and Flintoff and Prior are at the crease.

In the indoor nets after play has finished, Monty Panesar is bowling poorly. With a worried look on his face, coach Andy Flower says something quietly to Andrew Strauss, standing alongside him. The Australian spy standing on the balcony lipreads the words "Operation Big Boy" but can't work out what that could mean.

Three hours later, a plane takes off from Delhi Airport, bound for London Heathrow.

Friday morning sees another beautiful day, but not for the Australians. Flintoff makes his intentions quite clear, as he casually lifts Stuart Clark's third ball into the crowd behind mid-off. And then, in scenes mirroring Stuart Broad's innings on the previous day, he savages the Australian bowling. Then, in a scene this time mirroring his century at Lords in 2003, he splits his bat in two, before perishing two balls later to a slower one from Peter Siddle for a violent 105. But it's still 578 for 7 at lunch. After lunch, Graeme Swann inflicts some final misery on the Australians before England declare at 700 for 9 with twenty minutes to go until tea.

Andrew Flintoff takes the new ball with Steve Harmison, but it is the Durham man who strikes first blood as he has Shane Watson caught at gully. Ponting walks out - thankfully to the dignified applause from both the England players and their fans which is worthy of one of the greatest batsmen of his age - and he is able to shepherd the Australian innings safely to tea.

Indeed, he does more than that after tea, as the Australian innings starts to take off. None of Harmison, Flintoff, James Anderson, Swann nor Panesar can get past either Ponting and Simon Katich. Indeed, Panesar looks positively dejected as Australia look a good deal more secure at 111-1 at the close of play. But Captain Strauss looks cheerful. Commentator Agnew asks why, as he interviews him on BBC Test Match Special. Enigmatically, Strauss just smiles and says that he's read Next Week's Scoreboard and knows what's coming in the rest of the match.

As the Australians leave for their hotel that evening, there is a "media scrum", as England smuggle their secret, missing, ingredient from a taxi into the indoor nets. As he is covered by a blanket, and as the balcony has now been closed off, it's impossible to know who "Big Boy" is.

By the following morning, if the Australian batsmen do not know, they must have a fair idea. Monty Panesar is looking elated, but somewhat tired. Although he was asked by Strauss not to talk to the media, he later admits he was bowling in the nets until five in the morning. Given the first over against Ponting, his second ball turns and bounces. This disconcerts Ponting, who plays no shot to the following delivery. But this ball does not turn, and just thuds sadly into Ponting's front pad. Umpire Billy Bowden raises his finger as confirmation, but Ponting had already walked. The following ball is pitched into the developing rough patch outside Mike Hussey's off-stump. Foolishly, he leaves the ball. It spits from the ground and strikes him on the pad; once again, Bowden confirms the dismissal. Panesar on a hat-trick; Michael Clarke on strike. He confidently takes guard. Monty trots in; Clarke presses forward as the ball floats above his eyeline. But he beaten somehow by the flight of the ball; he is through his shot too early. The ball passes his bat. The ball strikes his back leg, which he has shifted accross to protect his stumps, but this is fooling nobody. Least of Umpire Bowden, who completes a personal hat trick of lbw dismissals, as Northamptonshire twirler Panesar goes berserk.

Up on the England balcony, the door to the dressing room opens. Out steps Bishen Bedi,wearing an England sweater. He looks tired but pleased with his work. It suddenly becomes clear to a crestfallen Ponting who "Big Boy" is.

Australia are in all sorts of trouble at 172-6 at lunch (Ponting 68, Panesar 4-54). But after lunch, some rich hitting from Mitchell Johnson and Brad Haddin, bravely batting with a broken finger, sees the Australians recover, before Flintoff uproots Haddin's off-stump. Eventually, Panesar claims three more wickets, and with an hour to go, Australia are all out for 325. Strauss enforces the follow-on, but the England players are unable to take the field, as a stray sirocco strikes South West London. The groundsmen move quickly, but some sand still gets on the pitch. Climate change, indeed.

Oh, what a Himalayan task it is that is set in front of the Australian batsmen on the morning of the fourth day, as they face up to the daunting task of batting out two days against resurgent spin-twins Panesar and Swann, on a pitch offering turn, bounce and sand, and requiring 415 just to make England bat again. But they start well, and it is 11:35 before Panesar takes his first, catching Watson's outside edge to have him caught at slip. Ponting comes out - to more dignified applause - and he is immediately surrounded by fieldsmen. But he survives a couple of testing overs from Panesar, and in the end, it is Katich who fails; he too edges one that turns and bounces, this time from the last ball of Swann's over.

When Ponting pushes a single off the first ball of Panesar's next over, Hussey faces the unwelcome challenge of avoiding a king pair. Panesar stairs him in the eyes, like a prowling cat. As the ball buzzes through the air, and lands in the rough that outdid him in the first innings, Hussey is faced with Morton's Fork: can he afford to leave the ball and risk a second, humiliating, lbw, or should he play a shot and risk a bat/pad catch? Surely, he would have been out either way, but in the end he is caught by Bell at silly point for his second golden duck of the match.

With the England pacemen struggling with a sand affected ball, progress is slow thereafter. Panesar picks up wickets intermittently, but Ponting is playing well at the other end. By tea, the Australians are on 214 for 5. Panesar takes two more, taking his haul to seven, before Nathan Hauritz digs in with Ponting. Finally, Swann traps Hauritz lbw with one that turns sharply from a Mitchell Johnson foothole, before Panesar traps Siddle in the same fashion the following over. Nine down - surely the Australians cannot hold out?

But with Ponting, now having passed a hundred, taking the bulk of the strike, the England spinners cannot break through. For an hour, Panesar and Swann bowl unchanged. With Ponting on 145, Panesar asks for a break. The ball is thrown to Andrew Flintoff. With his fifth ball, he manages to achieve some reverse swing; the ball starts outside off, but swings in over the last third of the pitch. The tired Ponting is unable to get his bat down on to the ball, and it strikes him on the toe. He is hurting, but this warrior is not ready to give up. He looks up, hoping Bowden will forgive him. But the Kiwi Umpire has made his mind up, and he signals game, set and match with his right index finger. Australia are all out for 317, and England have won the Ashes 2-1.

An hour later, as the light fades, Andrew Strauss holds up the (replica) Ashes in celebration. As the Australians sportingly applaud, there is suddenly the roar of jet engines. The Red Arrows fly past. They use red, blue and white smoke to leave a special message across the sky "THANKS FOR EVERYTHING FREDDIE."

As Henry Blofeld in the TMS commentary box says that this is "really rather splendid", the giant
Lancastrian just stands on the England balcony, nods in appreciation and takes another swig of Boddingtons.