The vengeance

"...I took inspiration from Gloria Gaynor.  Like her, at first I was afraid, I was petrified..."

Monty Panesar is giving his giving his post-match interview, moments after laying waste to India's batting line up for the second time in a day.

"...when I took the call from James Whittaker I thought it was Swanny playing one of his pranks; but then he said the password, I knew it was him.  He explained that even though I could only get into Essex seconds, I was still the best spinner in the country..."

There is a stunned glaze in Panesar's eyes. It has been a busy 24 hours.

"...I certainly wasn't expecting to get much turn, what with it being day two, but I just decided to pitch the ball up and give it a bit of a spin..."

He glances up at the scoreboard - India bowled out for 122 late on the second day, following on after their hapless first attempt at responding to England's 457 (Cook 188).

"...Cookie promised me that if I took three wickets, he would take me on a special trip to El Splendidos in Chelmsford on ladies nite...after I'd got Kohli on review, he said he'd buy me a season ticket...he's got a great sense of humour, Cookie. Ah well, maybe it was just funny at the time..."

And there it is on the dot matrix - Panesar 8-2-13-7. He smiles.

"...I'm delighted with how I bowled. And I haven't finished yet..."

His face turns.  He looks into the camera lens angrily, and jabs his finger.

"...Michael Clarke, I'm after you..."