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It is the last straw for Andy Flower. After Kevin Pietersen caused havoc at the MCC, by tweeting the rumour that Graeme Swann would abandon the Test Match to sing for the United Kingdom in the Eurovision Song Contest, the iPads of the entire England are fitted with a new application. The "Focus on Cricket" application gives the user a mild electric shock, if they attempt to log on to any social media website. It takes Pietersen several times to understand how - and indeed that - it works.  

As it is, Darren Sammy wins the toss, and elects to bat. Things get off to a pretty bad start; James Anderson and Stuart Broad bowl particularly well, and West Indies subside to 24-2.  However, Adrian Barath and Darren Bravo nurse the West Indians to lunch with no further alarm.  There is little to recommend the remainder of the day; Tim Bresnan continues to bowl every single delivery half a yard outside off stump, and Graeme Swann is off form. By close of play, it is the West Indies who are on top at 255-3.

The England effort is much improved on Saturday; the explanation given by the ECB is that Andy Flower gave the team a "talking to" on Friday night, whereas the Sky television links it to the tidal moments of the River Trent. However, the truth is more complex; bored by the Twitter ban, James Anderson and Graeme Swann have turned to a spare copy of Wisden, and have spent Friday night studying the form of their opponents. Anderson was intrigued to discover that Shivnarine Chanderpaul is dismissed leg before wicket on a disproportionate number of occasions, and resolved to bowler a little straighter to him. No surprise then, that Chanderpaul fell lbw in the first over of the day.  That is the catalyst for a "Calypso Collapso", as Michael Holding sadly describes it. Three overs before lunch, the West Indies have folded for 298 all out.  

The remainder of the day sees just one wicket, as Jonathan Trott and Alastair Cook both set about enormously long innings. Both innings progress through Sunday, and perhaps out of boredom, Andrew Strauss declares late on Sunday night with the score on 500-1. 

Monday is, unfortunately, like shooting ducks for the England bowlers. The weather is overcast, and West Indian after West Indian has little alternative but to prod forward to the England seamers, hopefully but hopelessly, the ball flying off their hapless bats to the alert slip cordon. It is England who are sipping the champagne by 3:20 in the afternoon, shortly after an in-swinger from James Anderson shatters Kemar Roach's stumps.  England win by an innings and 32 runs.