Trent Bridge

Zaheer hasn't fully recovered for the start of the second test match, and the excitable Sreesanth - resplendent with his pink hair, by Tony and Guy - is given the new ball with Praveen Kumar. Otherwise both teams are unchanged

According to the children's rhyme, Friday's child is loving and giving, and that could be a fair description of Sreesanth's bowling. Trent Bridge has a reputation for supporting swing bowling, and seeking to maximise that advantage Messrs Kumar and Sreesanth bowl very full to the England batsmen, who tuck in with a series of drives and clips off the pads. Within 10 overs, England have 50 runs on the board. Ishant Sharma is summoned, and he promptly gets Andrew Strauss to edge behind. Nevertheless, Jonathan Trott bats steadily until lunch; and then until tea; and then until the close. It's 350-5 (Trott 135*) at close of play. The ball does not swing all day.

Criclet has a funny way of playing tricks on cricketers, and on the second day it is all change - the ball swings. Although Praveen Kumar is pulled out of the attack by Billy Bowden for running down the pitch in his follow through, Sharma and Sreesanth run through the England lower order, so that they are bowled out for 415. Sitting in the TMS commentary box, Henry Blofeld remarks that the match is delictately poised on a placid batting pitch.

It remains so, as over the next couple of days, as India and England respectively score 359 (Mukund 133, Broad 5-75) and 249 (Broad 75, Harbhajan 6-28) respectively, in a pair of unremarkable innings. India have got to score 306 to win.

But perhaps that balance was always destined to skew, when the shiny cricket ball was given to James Anderson. In his very first over, he traps Abhinav Mukund leg before wicket. Rahul Dravid is able to see out the over, but in Anderson's next over, Gautam Ghambir is dismissed in the same manner, such that Sachin Tendulkar is brought to the crease to rapturous applause. He gets off the mark with a boundary off his first ball through the covers; a prologue for the splendid innings which is to follow. However, the Indian innings is what Bob Willis calls a staccato affair, as one by one the sub-contitenters fall to the hair-gelled duo of Anderson and Stuart Broad.

All except Sachin Tendulkar - he quickly reaches fifty, and powers through the sixties and seventies. That hundredth hundred looks inevitable; but then something happens. A lapse in concentration? Perhaps. Graeme Swann is bowling round the stumps, and lands one on the line of middle stump. The ball turns and bounces, striking the little master on the flap of his front pad, still in front of middle; the England fielders appeal with a raucous alacrity, turning to Umpire Bowden for a response. He ponders a moment; no trouble about the line, but what about height? The ball the flap of Tendulkar's pad, but then, Billy thinks, Tendulkar is short. With that slightly embaressed look, he raises his crooked finger to send Tendulkar on his way. The Indian team, the Indian supporters and perhaps all of the Indian viewers are horrified to note Hawkeye's projection that the ball would have bounced over the stump. The decision would clearly have been reversed, had the full DRS been in operation. Bowden's unfortunate mis-decision marks the beginning of the end for the Indian effort, and the innings subsides to 188 all out.

Within an hour, Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh issues the following statement to the waiting press:

"I believe in England they have a saying for this situation: we have been hoist by our own petard. We have lost this cricket match because the full DRS was not in operation, at our request. Sachin Tendulkar, the jewel of Indian batting, has been robbed of his rightful crown.

We were duped by the duplicitous schemes of the ECB, who persuaded us to argue that Hawkeye technology should not be part of the DRS decision making process. We have immediately petitioned the ICC to make the full use of Hawkeye compulsory for the remainder of the series. In the meantime, we have suspended coach Duncan Fletcher for failing to point out to us this clear and present danger to Indian cricket."

Flair's flares

Sachin Tendulkar pumps his fist in celebration as he comes back for a second run, to move to the landmark century. And as he arrives back at his crease, his eyes meet the beginning of a remarkable series of fireworks, paid for by the Indian Institute of Splendid Batsmen (IISB). One after another, bolts of fire are launched over the heads of the slightly puzzled members, sitting before the famous Lord's pavilion. Finally, a crescendo - the fireworks meet in the sky to read a message for the little maestro: "WELL DONE SACHIN - SPLENDID EFFORT OVER THE YEARS".

Such is Sachin's excitement, however, that he is deceived by the following ball from the excellent Stuart Broad, which creeps through the little chap's defenses to chip his off stump. As if disappointed by Tendulkar's dismissal, the umpires call close of play ten minutes early, because of fading light, but even in that North London gloom, Stuart Broad's smile is as white as a polar bear as he contemplates his five wicket haul, together with the corresponding inscription of his name on the Lord's honours board. At close of play on day one, the match is well poised with India on 312-9 (Tendulkar 100, Ghambir 112, Broad 5-63).

The tension is high on the morning of day two. Lord's is abuzz with the news that overnight, Christopher Martin-Jenkins was summarily dismissed by Test Match Special producers, following revelations in The Guardian that he once wrote a column for The Times, which is a Murdoch newspaper. With just thirty minutes to go, he is reinstated following a special appeal by Jonathan Agnew on his Twitter account. With the TMS commentary line-up is sorted out, conversation in the media centre turns to the state of the match. Can Andrew Strauss withstand Zaheer Khan's penetrative left-arm swing? The question becomes academic, though, as before play begins Zaheer twists his ankle playing Australian rules football on the outfield in the team warm-up. He is out for the series, and with the left-armer unable to bat, the Indian innings is closed at 312 all out.

Without Zaheer, there is relatively little for the English batsmen to worry about, and sadly, the cricket on day two is fairly unremarkable. Before the day is out, Alistair Cook has reached his nineteenth test match century, Jonathan Trott has ground his way to his seventh and England close on 362 for 2. The boredom is only broken when Kevin Pietersen tries to hit Harbhajan Singh into the nursery ground, but only succeeds in cracking one of the panes of glass in the media centre. The author of this column finds this remarkable, as he is given to understand that the panes have been designed to withstand blows from cricket balls travelling at over than 60 mph.

In a positive step, England choose to press on through the third day. Commentating on Sky TV's coverage, Nasser Hussain explains the England camp's thinking: "The likes of your Dravids, your Sehwags and your Tendulkars, they won't want to be batting against Graeme Swann on a turning pitch with India 300 runs behind." That theory is finally put to the test when England declare on 606 for 6 (Cook 125*, Trott 125, Pietersen 123, Harbahjan 5-182). However, India bat well to close on 110-1, before play is brought to a premature close by a thunderstorm travelling up from the South West.

The fourth day is also somewhat dull; but in a good way, because England are predictably good. Under clouds as dark as a Hallowe'en night, James Anderson makes early breakthroughs, leaving Tendulkar exposed to the middle order; but just as he starts to break free against Anderson and Swann, Stuart Broad comes on to bowl a tight spell. Thus Tendulkar is resstricted to a couple of singles an over. Finally, the diminutive middle-order batsman is dismissed for the second time in the match by Stuart Broad; and somehow, it feels as if England have control of Tendulkar. The spell has been broken, Tendulkar's time is nearly done and it is time for world cricket to go in a new direction. It's difficult to be sure, but three hours later the Lord's crowd is given the slightest hint of that new direction, as Stuart Broad bowls out Harbhajan, to take his tenth wicket in the match, and to win the match for England with a day to spare.

Stadium of the Damned

Many congratulations indeed, to the owners of the Rose Bowl on the successful stage of their first test match, a triumph for cricket eventing, as they eek out every penny from the innocent fans.

After Andrew Strauss wins the toss and elects to bat, England's bright start is a metaphor for the birth of a brand new test match venue. The steely modern age amphitheatre is abuzz, with Southampton's excellent cricket supporters enjoying the privilege of the highest standard of cricket. They watch Strauss and opening partner Alistair Cook dominate the enthusiastic Sri Lankan bowling, which becomes increasingly ragged as time passes; the score is 130-0 at lunch.

The afternoon bears on, and whilst England lose Cook shortly after he has reached his 19th test match hundred, it becomes increasingly clear that the Sri Lankan bowlers are inapt for the task, regularly gifting the three-lioned Englishmen eight runs an over.

As Mike Atherton reflects on Strauss' 212* after play, he catches sight of a mother, wheeling a baby past the window of the Sky commentary box in a pram. With a shock of blonde hair; and a slightly chubby face, the infant looks Atherton in the eye and smiles, to reveal a set of pearly white teeth, sinister as they reflect the evening sun so unnaturally. The sight shakes Atherton; he has seen that face before - but where?

Day two goes well for England. Kevin Pietersen banishes some mind-devils, with his swashbuckling 204*, before Andrew Strauss declares just after lunch, with the score on 655-5. Explaining his decision, Strauss says "I can't see any point in carrying on. I challenge my bowlers to ensure that the Sri Lankans don't get anywhere near our total, even with two innings."

And it seems they can answer his challenge, as Sri Lanka subside to 156-6 at the close of play. Once again, though, Nasser Hussain notices that Atherton is troubled. Challenged, Atherton explains to his former England colleague that he has seen another baby with that same, familiar, face. He can't quite identify the face, but it spells trouble, a problem in Atherton's past. He returns to his hotel, haunted.

The third day of cricket is frankly disappointing. It is all too predictable, as Sri Lanka fold their first innings at 211 all out. They follow on, and then they fold again; only Farveez Maharoof shows any spirit as the day closes with the score at 211-9.

Mike Atherton shows the Sky viewers a 3D model of the following day's weather, which isn't promising; but his discourse is interrupted, as he sees the face again, this time in a third baby. Blonde hair, chubby face, Dulux teeth. It's almost as if the babies have had their teeth polished.

The fourth day is, unfortunately, lost to rain.

But the sun is shining on day five. The crowd is sparse, but there is a celebrity in town; on the home balcony stands none other than SK Warne. As the Sky cameras zoom in on the wide leg-spinner, it hits Atherton. The babies. The blonde hair. The glittering teeth. As the supporters file out of the Hampshire ground, England having won by an innings and 230 runs, he asks the Sky producers to provide him with footage of the crowds throughout the test. And oh no, for what is this? Hundreds of young mothers, all with young babies, all with pearly teeth, bleached hair and earrings. To his horror, Atherton sees what happens when Shane Warne is in town.

WPUJCV

Form is temporary, class is permanent, and Chaminda Vaas is a class act.

Following his electric performances for Northamptonshire, slaying the Welsh dragon in Division 2 of the LV County Championship, Vaas gets the phone call which most accomplished commentators assume to be inevitable. At first, Vaas does not wish to go - he would rather play for Northamptonshire, than Sri Lanka - but David Capel puts his arm round his shoulder, and tells that the truly splendid put country before club. And it is Vaas that makes all the difference to a beleaguered Sri Lanka.

First come the wickets; the 37 year old isn't too quick any more, but he is still good enough to get 6-23 in England's 199 all out under the leaden Lords sky. His bowling done, he sits down with a nice mug of green tea in the dressing room, only to be confronted by captain Tillikatne Dilshan. He is asked to pad up and open the batting. Two hours later, the little left-hander takes off his helmet, saluting the Lords crowd who rise to applaud his second test century. Sri Lanka are eventually dismissed for 299. It's almost as if they wanted to make the maths easy.

As England go out to bat in the second innings, coach Andy Flower is left to reflect on how much improved the Sri Lankan attack is. From the dross of Cardiff, to Chaminda Vaas and Dilhara Fernando; and Flower smiles as his batsmen struggle, because he knows that England are finally in a Test Match worthy of the name. As it is, Ian Bell and Eoiaeen Morgan both prove that they are splendid, each scoring combative hundreds. Conveniently for the scorers, England are all out for precisely 299, setting Sri Lanka precisely 200 to win with precisely two days to go.

The fourth day is, unfortunately, lost to rain.

On the final day, Sri Lanka bat well, but whilst that is the case, England bowl better. Stuart Broad provides the England attack with his customary aggression, and Chris Tremlett bowls fast, but the real star is lanky paceman Steven Finn. He starts nervously, but then shows the beauty of accomplished swing bowling. Truly, James Anderson's absence is no loss - if that could ever be true - due to the resplendence of Finn's bowling. The Sri Lankan dressing room is puzzled by Finn's sudden improvement. Enquiries are made, and coach Stuart Law is furious to discover that the England bowler's advance was caused by an impromptu coaching session from Vaas on the Lords outfield immediately before play. Confronted by the Australian, Vaas smiles nicely, and explains that he wanted to help a promising young bowler making his way. For a moment - just for the shortest moment - Law understands everything. But it is all too brief, for soon the light in Law's mind flickers, and then it is gone.

Sri Lanka

"So what are you doing here?" says Eady J, peering down Kevin Pietersen over his half-moon glasses.

"I'm in court today to petition for a hyper-injunction, your honour."

"What? There's no such thing as a hyper-injunction. What are you talking about?"

"Well all my friends have got super-injunctions and I wanted to go one better. If I can't have a hyper-injunction I'll settle for a super-injunction."

"Very well. What have you done wrong that you want to keep secret? Sleeping with a big brother contestant? What is it this time?"

"I haven't done anything wrong. I would never sleep with anyone other than my wife, because I am splendid. Nobody told me you had to do something naughty to get a super-injunction."

"Well I can't give you a super-injunction unless you've got a secret..."

"But I want one."

"Tough."

"Well if you don't give me a super-injunction, I'll get really angry, and I'll refuse to play for England ever again until I get one. Yeah."

Eady J sighs, picks up his copy of Wisden, and looks up Pietersen's average over the last two years.

"Fine. Go back to Surrey and score some runs before you start making demands of the English judiciary."

And so it is that Leicestershire's James Taylor gets an unexpected England debut.

-----

It isn't long before Taylor sees active service, as Alistair Cook edges his first ball from Dilhara Fernando to Tillakaratne Dilshan at first slip. The diminutive East Midlander leaves his first ball, and instinctively plays his second ball off his legs to the square-leg boundary. And that good start shows Taylor a vital truth: he immediately knows that he is good enough to play at this level. He and Captain Andrew Strauss play the ball well, and England are strongly placed on 106-1 at lunch.

The sun beams down on Cardiff Bay after lunch, defying those who questioned the wisdom of a test match in Wales in May. A bead of sweat lies on Ajantha Mendis' forehead, as he is tosses the ball from hand to hand before his first over. Hopping in, he loops the ball up to Taylor. The little Englishman does not know which way the ball will turn; yet he defies Mendis by sweeping the ball away. And just as Taylor knew early doors that this was his day, Mendis immediately knows it will not be his. The English openers gently tease out the runs, and after tea the England batsmen both reach their hundreds. By stumps, England are very well placed indeed with the score at 358-1.

-----

Before play on the second day, Strauss is sitting alongside England coach Andy Flower. They peer quizzically at projections on a computer screen. They are agreed: England need to hold out as long as they can, ideally batting into the third day.

Fernando bowls his heart out for Sri Lanka, extracting pace and bounce from the placid Cardiff pitch. Strauss can't get out of the way of one which reers at his face, and he is caught off his gloves for an excellent 166. But little James Taylor ploughs on. He is on 188 not out by lunch, and it is of great disappointment that he is unable to resume his innings after lunch, suffering as he is from third degree sunburn. And that's how hot it is down in Cardiff. In Taylor's absence, there is a steady decline in England's innings, and when England are eight wickets down, just before tea, Flower dispatches Eoin Morgan to buy some After Sun lotion. That is sufficient to revive Taylor, who can resume his innings when James Anderson edges to slip for a cultured 55. The plucky (but small) Leicestershire man finally reaches his double century in his maiden innings for his country. Soon after, England are all out for 632.

To their credit, Sri Lanka bat out the rest of the day and are on 52-0 at stumps.

-----

"Right, what's going on?" asks Dilshan to Strauss at the start of the third day's play, "Is this some stupid ruse to try to put us off?"

All eleven England fielders are wearing helmets.

"You'll see" replies Strauss. And within ten overs Dilshan does see, and sees clearly. The first sign of trouble is when the sky gradually darkens. The Sri Lankans appeal to the umpires for bad light, but Billy Bowden signals to the groundsmen to turn up the floodlights. A few moments later, a lump of ash lands on a length, then another, then another. Soon, the air is thick with Icelandic ash and smoke. It is too much for Upul Tharanga, who edges Anderson to slip. Dilshan is visibly distressed as a lump of ash hits him on the helmet. But the experienced English bowlers, who have practised bowling in ash-ridden conditions, are able to take best advantage, using the smoggy conditions to obtain pronounced reverse swing. It is not long before Sri Lanka are dismissed for a paltry 111. Strauss asks the Sri Lankans to follow on - but lunch is taken.

As the players tuck in, the ash cloud passes over Cardiff, and with glorious sunshine resumed, the groundstaff are able to sweep the ash off the pitch. When the players emerge, the Sri Lankans bat splendidly, and despite the excellence of Graeme Swann's bowling, England cannot make a break-through. Indeed it is well beyond tea when Tharanga eventually plays on Stuart Broad, and Sri Lanka are on 215-2 (Dilshan 99*, Tharanga 72) at stumps. But surely they can't survive two days?

-----

The fourth day is, unfortunately, lost to rain.

-----

The excitement in Southern Wales on the morning of the final day is enormous. Can the ground, which served England so splendidly in 2009, assist England? Not if Dilshan can help it. He cuts and pulls the England pace bowlers with great savagery in the first hour of play; indeed it is a huge relief when Swann bowls Kumar Sangakkara through the gate in his first over at 12:05. Paul Collingwood, acting as guest substitute fielder, pouches Thilan Samaraweera the very next ball, and it seems an English victory is only a matter of time when Stuart Broad has Angelo Mathews caught at slip the following over. Farveez Maharoof is able to keep Dilshan company until lunchtime; but there is no doubt, at 314-5 with 60 overs remaining, things aren't looking good for the Tigers.

The afternoon session is, unfortunately, lost to rain.

After some enthusiastic work to dry the ground, play is able to begin at 5:03 pm. The air is damp; the sky is black. It can only be a matter of time before the Welsh rain comes down again to defy England's lions. Can they get the five remaining wickets needed to ensure a famous victory? The odds must surely be against them. Stuart Law is on the balcony, smirking at Sri Lanka's good fortune.

But through the gloom comes a shock of blonde hair. England have Stuart Broad. In his first over, he gets the ball to rise off a length. Dilshan hides away from the ball, but it follows him, and catches his glove on the way through to Matthew Prior. A good start; and in the next over, Anderson uproots Maharoof's off-stump. By 5:20 pm two more wickets have fallen, and Sri Lanka are on the brink. Then, from nowhere, a drop of rain falls. Then another. Soon, the rain is persistent. The umpires look at each other, but decide to allow play to continue until the end of Broad's over, to see if the weather improves. But England don't need the end of Broad's over. In a catastrophic mix-up, Mendis is run out the very next ball, and England have won by an innings and 123 runs. Law looks angrier than the thunder unfolding around the ground.

New beginnings

There is no doubt about it: Andrew Strauss' decision to take the match off, to balance out the withdrawal of Ricky Ponting, is a champion's gesture - but it now looks unwise, as Eoin Morgan comes to the crease with the score at 103-4.

He is little. As he walks past Mitchell Johnson towards the crease, the Australian thinks the Irishman is there to be pushed over by a barage of bouncers. For his part, Morgan is calm; there are 45,000 Australians pushing for either him, or his partner Ian Bell, to fail, but that doesn't really matter to him.

He knows Ben Hilfenhaus will try to exploit his perceived weakness outside off-stump. The Australian approaches the crease, his goatee beard glistening with Tasmanian sweat. He pushes the ball down the pitch, seam first; a fraction outside off-stump. Hilfenhaus has just started getting reverse swing and the ball might swing in; what should the diminutive Irishman do. He could defend - perhaps risking edging the ball to slip? Or defend - and risk losing his off-peg?

But before proceeding further, Morgan represents the truism that Hilfenhaus is a poor man's Paul Collingwood. He shuffles down the pitch, turning the ball into a half-volley, and clouts the ball over cover point to the boundary. He's away.

-----

After receiving a nod from Ponting, who has been guiding the Australian fielding display from the boundary, Michael Clarke throws the ball to Michael Beer. Not before time: against Australia's five fast bowlers, Bell and Morgan have got away and England are on 225 for 3.

Beer skips in. As his arm comes over, Bell wonders whether he should show the Australian some respect. But, the temptation proves too great to resist, and clouts Beer's first ball in test cricket straight into the Victor Trumper stand.

The ball eventually comes back to Beer. Xavier Doherty had warned him about the England batsmen. He knew it would not be easy. He skips in again, and tosses the ball slightly higher into the Sydney air. The ball lands, and spins off a puff of dust on a good length. This time, Bell is caught amidships. Neither forward, nor backwards, neither here, nor there. But this time, the ball is too good, and passes the outside edge of Bell's bat. No harm done to the England innings, but Beer has won a moral victory and proved himself a test match bowler to be reckoned with. Not Derek Underwood. Not Monty Panesar. But at least not Xavier Doherty either.

-----

Usman Khawaja asks Aleem Dar for his guard. England are on top: Phil Hughes has just been caught at fly-slip, in the first over of the Australia's reply to England's 412 all out.

"Come on boys," urges Paul Collingwood, acting as honorary captain on his final test match appearance, "he's probably better than Usman Afzaal, so let's give him the best we've got."

James Anderson's feet seem to bounce off the SCG's turf as he runs up to bowl. Then the leap; then the ball comes down. The ball is on a length, threatening the timbers and the outside edge. But in an instant Khawaja shows that he will be the one who balances the force, to guide Australia into the third golden age of Test Match Cricket. The left-handed rookie eases forward, and laconically shows the ball its path through the covers to the boundary. Back in the Sky Sports studio, the Nasser Hussain and Ian Botham chatter about the young man's bravado, but David Gower quietly smiles; it takes one to know one.

-----

In the end, Australia subside around Khawaja and are forced to follow on. They fare little better second time round, and in a result which has started to lose meaning by the time it is achieved, England defeat Australia by an innings and 43 runs. The ground is empty, but for a few thousand England supporters, as Andrew Strauss holds aloft the ceremonial replica of the urn.

At exactly that moment, an eighteen month old boy in South West London can't get to sleep. In his parents' living room, he finds his miniature cricket ball. Slightly intrigued, he picks up the ball, gripping the ball across the seam, in his index finger, second finger and thumb. He throws the ball away, but as he releases the ball England's greatest ever spin bowler rotates his wrist - just ever so slightly. He giggles, as he sees the ball bounce strangely off the carpet.

The Sound of Silence (2)

With Mark Nicholas' microphone thrust under his nose, Ricky Ponting explains that Mitchell Johnson is not playing, because this is match number four in the series, and four is an even number.

And so it is that having won the toss and decided to bat, Andrew Strauss and his opening partner Alistair Cook do not have to face the speedy left-armer on the first morning at the MCG. But even without Johnson, Australia's opening attack is fast, aggressive and splendid. It is something of a surprise, and certainly to the Englishmen's credit, that they are able to get to lunch without losing a wicket. Particularly impressive, given that they didn't know that the MCG authorities had introduced the new "Insult-a-Pom" facility, whereby Australian fans are allowed to express their opinions about the England batsmen over the MCG tannoy between overs, in return for a charitable donation of Aus$1,000 per swearword. By lunchtime, Insult-a-Pom has raised Aus$116,000, and Andrew Strauss (unbeaten on 56*) has been called a "Pommie C**t" 43 times.

After a cluster of wickets between lunchtime and tea looks to destabilise England, Ian Bell joins Paul Collingwood at the crease with the score on 196 for 4. It's a crucial time for England, and it is to the great fortune of England that Bell does not edge any of the balls he initially receives from the impressive Ryan Harris. It's attritional out there, as the horribly out-of-touch Collingwood plays edgily to the Australian medium-pacers. But by the close, he's still there, and when play ends prematurely due to bad light, England have recovered to 256-4. Bell is on 74* and has been called a "ginger c**t" 38 times; Collingwood is on 54* and has been called a "ginger c**t" 45 times.

Everyone is putting a brave face on it, but it is clear that the England team is shaken by the torrent of abuse they have received all day. But Andy Flower has a trick up his sleeve. He introduces Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy as England's new specialist sledging coach, and when on the second morning Bell starts reciting passages from Romeo and Juliet in response to Siddle calling him a "ginger c**t", Ponting pleads with him to stop. Eventually, an agreement is brokered between Ponting and Strauss: the match will be played in complete silence. Sledging has stopped.

It is a wonderful relief, but one which pays dividends for the Australians as they concentrate on bowling, rather than using unpleasant language. Bell is quickly dismissed, and England subside. Thank goodness for Collingwood's swashbuckling hitting at the end with the tail-enders. He's last out for 116 as England finally reach 372 all out.

Australia respond pretty well. Steven Finn's replacement, Tim Bresnan, bowls steadily, but is unable to oust Ponting, who refinds his form to reach a hundred. At the other end, it takes some excellent bowling from Chris Tremlett to remove Philip Hughes, then Shane Watson, then Michael Clarke. With Graeme Swann snaring the dangerous Michael Hussey, then the somewhat less dangerous Steve Smith, the match is evenly poised with the score on 249 for 6 at the close of play. Ritchie Benaud remarks on the improvement in the quality of the cricket, as the players are able to focus on their own games.

The third day is also closely, and more importantly politely, contested; in the first over James Anderson uproots Brad Haddin's off-stump, and having made that breakthrough England are able to rub away much of the Australian tail, as they subside to 272 for 9. But Siddle and Beer enjoy an annoying last wicket 50 run partnership, and the Australians are able to reach 333 all out, just ten minutes before lunch. So England hold a 39 runs lead; not a match winning advantage, but a "nice to have".

The pitch is at its very best on the afternoon of day three. England capitalise. The Australians bowl excellently, with a consistent line and length, but by trusting in the pitch the England openers are able to manoeuvre the ball into the gaps. Both are dismissed by Siddle, who has discovered that when he thinks about his cricket he actually isn't that bad, but Jonathan Trott proves the perfect counterfoil to Kevin Pietersen's imaginative, yet respectful, strokeplay. When Pietersen reaches his hundred, Ponting can't help but congratulate him. Trott shapes to give him an effeminate hug, more out of habit than inclination, but thinks better of it and just shakes Pietersen firmly by the hand. Anyway, England are now in charge of the game, on 260-2. That is precisely 299 ahead.

The fourth day is, especially unfortunately given the quality of the teams' behaviour, lost to rain.

So when should England declare? Bat the Australians into a draw? No, sir. In a sporting gesture, Strauss declares overnight. 300 to win. 3 sessions. That's 100 per session.

Australia get off to a good start, with Hughes playing well to hit a quick 50 in that swash-buckling style that he has. But Tremlett makes one rise, and Hughes is only able to guide the delivery into Anderson's hands at fly-slip. Two balls later, Ponting is caught by a flying Collingwood at third slip, in what is described by Benaud as "a splendid effort". But England have no further successes before lunch, and Australia are slightly ahead of the game at 112-2.

After lunch, the sun beats down unforgivingly on England. Strauss tosses the ball to Graeme Swann. His first over is a splendid one. He bowls two dot balls to an uncertain Shane Watson, before floating one up over the David Beckham lookalikes eye line. So uncertain, about when the ball will land. So heavy, with his foot movement. And so the ball lands, spitting off the pitch, then ricochets off Watson's gloves into Cook's hands at silly point. Then Clarke is bowled through the gate, the very next ball. The crowd waits for Michael Hussey in hushed silence. But whereas Hussey has saved the downundermen before, he fails this time: the ball bounces out of the rough, clips the outside edge of his bat and flies to Collingwood at slip.

Smith and Haddin follow quickly, and in the twinkling of an eye the Australians have fallen to 150-7. Can they meekly limp to a draw? They can't. Two overs after tea, Beer pushes forward uncertainly to Anderson, and the ball flies to Captain Strauss to slip.

The Ashes are retained, but the series is not yet won.

-----

It is the morning after England have won. Andy Flower is relaxing on the balcony of his hotel room, when his mobile rings.

"This is Bond, James Bond, from MI6 in London. We've received an intelligence report from Special Agent Hurley. You might remember we tasked her with monitoring Shane Warne's movements. Well, Warne has told her he's planning a comeback. You'd better be ready for him at the SCG."