Tuesday 8 July 2014

The vengeance

"...I took inspiration from Gloria Gaynor.  Like her, at first I was afraid, I was petrified..."

Monty Panesar is giving his giving his post-match interview, moments after laying waste to India's batting line up for the second time in a day.

"...when I took the call from James Whittaker I thought it was Swanny playing one of his pranks; but then he said the password, I knew it was him.  He explained that even though I could only get into Essex seconds, I was still the best spinner in the country..."

There is a stunned glaze in Panesar's eyes. It has been a busy 24 hours.

"...I certainly wasn't expecting to get much turn, what with it being day two, but I just decided to pitch the ball up and give it a bit of a spin..."

He glances up at the scoreboard - India bowled out for 122 late on the second day, following on after their hapless first attempt at responding to England's 457 (Cook 188).

"...Cookie promised me that if I took three wickets, he would take me on a special trip to El Splendidos in Chelmsford on ladies nite...after I'd got Kohli on review, he said he'd buy me a season ticket...he's got a great sense of humour, Cookie. Ah well, maybe it was just funny at the time..."

And there it is on the dot matrix - Panesar 8-2-13-7. He smiles.

"...I'm delighted with how I bowled. And I haven't finished yet..."

His face turns.  He looks into the camera lens angrily, and jabs his finger.

"...Michael Clarke, I'm after you..." 

NWS - An(other) Apology

My name is NWS and I am a cheat.

I have shamed my country, I have shamed my sport. I have shamed those close to me. For that I am now proud.

I should have posted my vision for the second test against Sri Lanka, especially given that I was aware it would have a tight ending, and I failed to do so.

Any good apology gives an explanation for the shortcoming, even if it is not satisfactory, and in this case the reason for my lapse was just that I was too busy with things at home, and I basically just forgot.

I will try to not let it happen again, but I have said that before.